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[17 Jun 2004|12:03pm] |
i moved journals.. my new one is ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) 0520 add me there. <33 |
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[16 Jun 2004|10:04pm] |
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today was boring.
i woke up early as crap.. and by early i mean 7.. my mom came home and signed the papers that i had to take up school. On the way to school I saw Ms. Sherry [jakes mom] and we talked to her for a little while. She told me to not be a stranger lol. She is a nice lady. Her and my mom met which I am happy about..
I dropped the papers off and went to work with my mom which was boring as crap.. we left her work around 3 something and went to the gay ass bar for a little while.. then from there we went to drug city and rented along came polly, and phonebooth. we got snow caps and raisinets too. this little boy tried to hit on me.
from there we came home and started watching along came polly but i thought it was fucking gay so i came up here and got on the computer.. and then my mom called me down.. and my cousin mandy came over with ally and her new baby makenzie.. or however it might be spelled. shes cute. shes only like.. 10 days old.. so yeah.. ally is adorable too.. she kept coming up here and going "kitty cat kitty cat".. and shes only 2.. so yeah..
mandy left and then me and my mom talked and now im sitting here tired as shit.
i need to fix the colors of my journal.. i tried making it pretty but that didnt work.. i should have just left it black and pink.. so im gonna go work on that.
oh.. i write my love a letter today. jakes mom said that he doesnt sound too happy in the letters she gets.. and that he wrote one to his brother in the dark lol..
i wish he would just come home.. he can live with me.. i will buy him the stuff he needs.. and he could go to college.. hes always had good grades..
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[15 Jun 2004|09:41pm] |
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I GOT A LETTER FROM MY LOVE TODAY!!
He said that he's been really busy at training and they work like 16 hour days.. the only break is an hour at night before bed.. and when they eat.
He also said he misses me.. and that he got the first letter i sent him and it made him cry.. that he loves me.. and he needs me more than ever.. and that knowing im waiting for him when he comes home makes it all easier for him. I cried when I read all that.
I love him so much. I cant wait until august. im going to attack him with kisses! I am about to write him another letter. So yeah..
The gym final today was decent. It wasnt too hard. Came home at 9:20.. my mom picked me up at 11. I went to work with her for awhile and all that jazz.. went to the mall. I got a new pair of shoes. they are etnies.. they are hot hot hot. i also got an oscar the grouch shirt and another shirt with yogi bear on it and its like 'yer straight trippin'. I dont know. I liked it so i figured cool.
I am gonna go now since i have to get up early. I promise comments tomorrow.. i just have alot to do before i go to bed.. and i want to write my love a long long letter.
<33333
oh.. i have some new friends now. They are cool... <333
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[14 Jun 2004|08:16pm] |
I had so much fun at the BNO & MCR show. We got there and this shitty band was playing.. Life Goes On I believe it says in rens journal.. they were bad.. but the Oval Portrait [a metal band] was 10x worse.. as in I wanted to cut them. The lead singer was like spitting out his water in the crowd. It was so fucking gross. All those guys smelled really really bad. It was gross. After the Oval Portrait, Driveby played. They were really good.. and the lead singer and one guitarist were fucking hot. Whew. Then BNO came on and me&ren were like standing there.. and me and her are so fucking short so we like flipped out when the people started moshing or whatever. Lee went nuts.. but me and her went to the side of the stage. Then these little bitches come in front of us to take pictures.. so I kept pulling the one girls ribbon in her hair.. or maybe it was one her neck.. whichever.. i would pull it and then turn my head. Haha. It was awesome. Then shes like 'that bitch behind me keeps touching me' haha. After Boys Night Out was My Chemical Romance. They were good. I never really heard them before.. only like two songs.. cubicles and the one song Helena that ren made me listen to. I had a really good time at the show. I love ren&lee x3459485 for taking me. There was so much more to say but yeah. I want to go to alot of shows now.. Here are some pictures from last night..my photography skills suck.. and the pictures suck ass cause im so fucking short.. but it's all gravy baby. ( sucky ass pictures.. oh and they are sorta big too. ) |
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[13 Jun 2004|11:35am] |
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victor versus the victim - boys night out |
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this is an extended version of my last entry lol.
Friday Ren rode her bike over my house and we spent some time together. I missed her lots. We hadnt spent time together in like 34954 months. So I was happy to see her. She was suppose to spend the night but my mom gave me tylenol pm's cause i had a headache and i didnt know it until i told her about ren staying the night and shes like.. i just gave you tylenol pm's.. and i was gonig to like.. fight it but i was sooo tired when ren called me that I just had to go to bed. She said she understood. She is a very understanding person ;]. She's a really good friend.
Yesterday I went to Phil Phest. There were alot of little kids there. Sorta too many... and by little i mean like 10 lol. It was all gravy though I suppose. Who cares. Them coming there benefited the class of 2005 so yeah. Word. Me and Jess got there and stood around talking to Sophie and then we left and went to the goodwill.. that one never has anything good though.. then we went to the library and looked at porn sites. We giggled some.. and then we went to the library. Then we went back to Phil Phest.. we stayed for awhile.. and then we left again and went to Maxway. I bought a little brush for my purse, bobby pins, and pink bow clip things all for $.04. Goo deal right? From there we went to the sub shop and got a cheese steak sub.. but ate it at the chinese restaurant. That was sorta funny. Then we went to rite aid.. and we looked at the same bobby pins we bought at maxway and they were $1.49. So we saved money and shit. Then we went back to Phil Phest and my feet were hurting so I called my mom to bring me my vans cause I had on flip flops. Not too long after that we came to my house and then Jess had to go home. And my and my mommy went to go see Raising Helen. It was a good movie. I cried a couple of times.
Chica is getting on my nerves. I have really had sunburn and she has decided to try and jump on my back 205395x.
Tonight I am going to the Boys Night Out show with Ren and Lee.. I can't wait. I am really excited. I've never really been to a show before. Just like.. 2 local ones.. so yeah.
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[13 Jun 2004|08:13am] |
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Yesterday I went to Phil Phest. I am really really sunburnt and thats gay.
Chica is like a little baby. When I leave the room she cries and cries and cries.
BNO & My Chemical Romance tonight bitches. <333
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[10 Jun 2004|06:15pm] |
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i guess i will update.
GUESS WHO GOT AN B ON HER GEOMETRY FINAL! OH AND GUESS WHO GOT A B+ ON HER FINAL ESSAY IN ENGLISH.. YESSS IT'S ME!
haha. yesterday we got out of school early because of the heat. lunch was horrible. there were sooo many people in there. it was crazy. it reminded me of my 9th and 10th grade years.. where lunch was really hectic because there were so many people. they ended up putting A&B together and C&D. lots and lots of people.
i met jess and then we came to my house, got my bathing suit, went to her house and went swimming as in we just floated around and talked. after that we went to mcdonalds and andrea and stephanie were there so we all sat together. they left and me and jess sat there for like.. 2 hours lol. maybe a little longer. im not sure what we really talked about but yeah. we laughed at people. we saw this guys balls and that was gross. a spider tried to crawl on my face and i flipped out.
from mcdonalds we went to mars where we were for like another hour or so. we got some gummy bears looked at magazines.. and then my mom said for us to start shopping and she would be there.. so yeah. we went shopping.. we came back to my house and my mom made hamburgers on the grill and we had a salad.. and my mom and jess ate mushrooms.. which are really gross. my mom drove jess home and then i came home and got on here for a little while and then i went to bed.
i woke up this morning at 6:30 but i was soooo fucking tired so i went back to sleep and i ended up waking up at 7:12. i looked like complete shit cause i didnt wear any makeup or anything, so yeah. you know. whatever.
school was gay. my ankle still hurts. i got an B on my journalism final. so thats cool.
i make good hamburgers.
i miss jake like crazy. im not so sure i could do this again and i have to. maybe it will get easier or something once the letters start coming but so far they havent.. and that upsets me. i figured he would have written me by now.
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[08 Jun 2004|02:30pm] |
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this kid matt called me emo today.
well actually he's like 'are you emo' and im like 'iunno' and hes like 'you are, i can tell'
it was sorta funny..
because i am extremely emotional.
chica is annoying but i love her to death.
this girl stephany is pregnant again, shes my age and already has a kid. oh my.
BIRTH CONTROL AND CONDOMS ASSCRACKS!
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[07 Jun 2004|07:28pm] |
i am highly upset that i didn't get a letter today. if i dont get one at all this week i will be really sad. jakes mom left me jakes new address in my mailbox. but im not going to write him.. because it just upsets me more. school was ehh.. we had to hear the speeches from all the people running for stupid shit today. i already know who im voting for. even though i dont like the girls they are always into school and get good grades and shit so yeah.  ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) _hotbitches |
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[06 Jun 2004|06:51pm] |
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i think im allergic to chica [my kitten]
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[06 Jun 2004|12:08pm] |
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i am up my brother and sisters house. i like it up here but it's a little hectic because they have some of beths family up here and its just alot of people all at once.
last night i went and saw The Day After Tomorrow. It was a good movie. The one boy.. Jake something is really hott. The name Jake seems to only go to hot guys ;].
i miss my love alot. i cant wait to get a letter from him.
just a short update for now. bye bye.
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[04 Jun 2004|08:31pm] |
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today i was okay emotionally but i ended up spraining my ankle in gym.
it hurts really bad and ruined mine and rens plans. i miss my faggot ass too. ;/
i sent an email to a recruiter about being an police officer.. but i would have to be a cadet for 2 years first.
jakes mom came by but i was sleeping and my mom didnt answer because she thought it was going to be bill collectors.. but she ended up putting en envelope with pictures of jake in my mailbox. i called and got the answering machine and said thank you for the pictures and gave her my number in case she wanted to call me. she wrote on the envelope that jake got to parris island wednesday at 2:30am.
if i dont get a letter by next wednesday i will be highly upset.
my hair feels so gross. i dont think i washed all the conditioner out this morning.
lalalalala. nothing else to really say. my ankle hurts. it looks like there is a golf ball on the side of it.
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[04 Jun 2004|06:46am] |
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im not gonna cry today either.
i have really bad cramps.. as in i want to hit someone over the head with a baseball bat type of thing.
im wearing my pink skirt today.
jake told me i looked beautiful in it.. but he lies to me about that kind of stuff cause i really looked like a fat cow.
i had a bad dream.. me and jake broke up and all his profiles were saying stuff about girls.. like a girl would say 'i want to fuck your brains out' and then he would reply with a smiley face.. im not sure what the dream was suppose to mean and i will look it up later.. cause dreams always have secret meanings.
so yeah. about them pictures that i was all upset about the other night.. someone took one of the stamps off the package.. its weird.. cause its kind of like it wasnt meant to be sent.. cause i could have gotten him in alot of trouble.. since those type of pictures are "contraband".
word. just a short update. when i come home from school i will comment.. then i am going to take a nap.. and then i believe me and ren are hanging out finally! <333
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[03 Jun 2004|02:40pm] |
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today wasnt that bad of a day.
i didnt cry.
i think im just realizing that he is gone and there isnt anything i can do about it.. so crying is really useless.
the package that i had them big pictures in didnt get mailed. so thank god for that. my mom is bringing it home and i am going to take it to cvs so that i can get the pictures cropped to a wallet size.. if not there ill try ritz camera.
i also need to call jakes mom sometime soon. but i am really scared because i dont really know what to say. i guess that i could just like.. call to say hi and how is she and tracy and jakes dad.. then i guess ask if jake called them or whatever to say he is in parris island.
i have anger inside for him for making me go through this. i mean he left and he showed no emotion whatsoever. he had a fucking smile on his face. i hope im reading him all wrong.
maybe its like a phase. first you're sad.. then you're angry.. then you're alright... but thats how it is when you break up with someone too which isnt cool.
nicole and tracy said that me and jake are going to get married.
and jakes mom said that i was the one
;]
i am going to see my uncle today. he just got out of jail yesterday.. he was in there for 3 years so this should be cool. plus my cousin mandy had her baby today so yeah good shit.
tomorrow = ika&ren time.. if its still on that is.. i think we might be going to a show.. and if not that.. then we will find something gay to do because me and her are cool like that. i cant wait til she moves near me. we will raise havoc everywhere we go.
i might see if jess can do something like.. monday.. cause saturday i am going to see my dad.. and sunday i think is a dinner thing for my uncle. and if not that i might go up my brothers house. i have to talk to him though.
i decided that when i graduate high school i am going to be a cop.
i want to pull people over. haha.
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[03 Jun 2004|06:53am] |
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ehh.
jakes sister has him signed online. that sorta fucks with me.
i dont know if i can do this.
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[02 Jun 2004|10:47pm] |
Q: What can and can't I send recruits in the mail?
A: According to the rules governing recruit training, the following items are considered to be "contraband" and are prohibited to be sent to recruits:
Weapons and ammunition, to include knives
Combustibles, including matches
Pornography
Gambling devices, to include playing cards and dice
Alcoholic Beverages
Drugs
Tobacco products
Athletic equipment
Cameras and radios
Civilian clothing
Electrical appliances (except irons)
Photographs larger than wallet size
Birth control devices
Because of the long list of contraband items, the drill instructors who issue the mail are constantly on the lookout for packages or bulky envelopes. These items are generally opened by the recruit in the presence of the DI and are checked for contraband. The recruits hygienic needs are taken care of. Please do not send any unsolicited food items.
guess who sent him regular sized photos?
my dumb ass.
and i cant get the mail back ;/
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[02 Jun 2004|06:50am] |
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im so upset. my love called me last night from charlotte nc from an airport.. and i fucking missed the call. he's called me 3 times and i missed 2 of the calls. but he left a message and said he loved me and he will write me as soon as he can.
i've already written him twice and he hasnt even been away for 2 whole days lol.
i dont care though. ill probably write him everyday.
i sent him an i miss you card. it's cute. i also sent him 2 pictures of me.. even though they are ugly.. he said he liked them so i sent them.. and i wrote him a long letter last night too.
this is really hard. i know it will get easier.. it's just a really big change.. you go from being able to see someone almost everyday and you get to talk to them everyday.. to not being able to see them at all and only talking to them through letters.
btw. i got a cell phone. the number is 443-803-0683..
call me or text me if you ever need me, not that you will.. but yeah.
my mom bought me a corkboard thing monday. right now i have the oriole ticket from the game me and jake went to together, the birthday card he got me, 2 pictures of him, and 2 pictures of chica.. cause she reminds me of him.
i look like shit today. my eyes burn. underneath my eyes burns too.. i think i like rubbed the skin raw. sounds gross but yeah. ive been doing alot of wiping my eyes.
ill be okay though, i just miss him.
it's kinda weird though. now that he is away i dont really worry about my appearence. i havent wore makeup in the last two days.. and if you know me good.. you know i dont leave the house without it. but id rather have none then have it all down my face.
cicadas are in dundalk ;/
im gonna go try to do something with my hair.. i have to wear it up because i didnt feel like taking a shower and blow drying it and all that other shit.
oh and starting today i am offically a senior. we get our senior t-shirts today.
word.
jessica and jacob
always and forever
5.20.04. <3333
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[01 Jun 2004|04:31pm] |
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i talked to my love. he called me from the airport.
we played our i love you game <3333
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[01 Jun 2004|02:37pm] |
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today really sucked.
i looked so bad this morning. everyone kept asking me what was wrong and that made me cry even more. my eyes were like.. slits. i couldnt open them anymore. i had really bad bags too. like 3 of them. they got better during the day but its not helping being in this house with all the memories and shit.. it just makes me cry more.
sometimes i wish people would just stay out of my business.
today they would be like 'are you okay'
do i fucking look like im okay? i dont think so.
i wont be okay for awhile. this is so hard and i didnt think it would be. i figured that i would be alright because this is what he wanted and it made him happy and i wanted to support whatever it is that makes him happy..
maybe im just selfish but i wish he didnt leave.
2 and half months without my love. who will i talk to? who will i go to when i just need to vent. who make me laugh when no one else can. who will knock on my door and as soon as i open it kiss me.
i wont be able to hear i love you for a long time and that bothers me.
i need to stop crying. its hurting my eyes and it's giving me a headache.
im so pathetic. i've written him a letter already and im about to write him another. i dont see how he is so strong. how he can just up and leave everyone and not be upset about it or anything.
i guess you never really realize how much you love someone until they aren't there.. and everytime he hasnt been there within the past year my love for him has grown stronger and stronger. it's kind of weird.
thats all i guess. ill comment once i can get things straight in my head. i hope you all understand.
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